


Feels like coming Home

by LatinMayonnaise



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Resurrection, feelings are hard, ok? and cad thinks he is asking too much but he is asking just enough, spoilers for c2e98
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23085964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LatinMayonnaise/pseuds/LatinMayonnaise
Summary: "I know this is so selfish and a lot to ask, but please, I want him to be mine too. Can you share him with me? Let him walk by my side some more? I have so much more to teach him and he has so much more to teach me. If there's something I know about, is death and I think it isn't his time yet."
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 13
Kudos: 129





	Feels like coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> so, english is not my native language and i suck at portuguese so imagine i'm with english gshsgs anyways no beta we die like man correct me if anything is wrong pleasee
> 
> enjoy what must be one of the thousand fanfics about cad using revivify on fjord

The adrenaline rushing through his veins was gone the moment the battle ended and he almost fell to his knees. He saw Jester come running, giving him a nod towards Fjord and kneeling beside Orly, a big diamond in her hands.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he took out his diamond and put it on Fjord's chest.

He was such a hypocrite. Actually, he doesn't know if he really is, because he does believe and tries to live like everything he says. But it's so much difficult when personal feelings are involved. He was used to comforting crying people that have to bury their loved ones and here he was not even thinking about it and just reviving his friend the minute he went down.

No, he is not going to talk about the revenge part just yet, it's still leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Caduceus looked at Fjord's face - no sign of life there - and pressed the diamond harder on his chest, praying for the Wildmother to bring her champion back to him.

"I know this is so selfish and a lot to ask, but please, I want him to be mine too. Can you share him with me? Let him walk by my side some more? I have so much more to teach him and he has so much more to teach me. If there's something I know about, is death and I think it isn't his time yet." He said under his breath, just a long whisper for him and the Wildmother to hear.

A calm and warm breeze blew around him, much more welcoming than the storm happening right now. Caduceus let himself relax a little, opening his eyes to see the diamond dissolve in dust and enter Fjord's chest with a green light.

"Don't make me feel like this just to leave me behind." He leaned in and whispered, thinking he must share one last secret to compensate for what he is asking.

He got up just in time to see Beau taking his place, a frantic look on her face while she moves the hair away from Fjord's face. She lets out a sob when his hand holds her wrist, a small smile appearing on his lips, his eyes still closed.

"Could you be a little more gentle, Beauregard?"

"You asshole! You don't get gentle! You just died."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't do that again." Caduceus said, his voice a lot harsher than he wanted, making Beau look up at him with an arched eyebrow. So he cleared his throat and added "Please."

"I will try my best, Caduceus." Fjord sat up and smiled at him.

"FJORD!" A blue flash came running past him to hug Fjord "Oh my gosh. When I heard Beau screaming your name I was so worried and I couldn't get to you because of these damn things and then you were dead-"

She talked too fast for Caduceus' mind right now, making the decision to go back to bed instead of confronting everything that just happened was an easy one.

-

Of course he couldn't sleep, it was a naïve idea that he would be able to just fall back to sleep after everything that happened. Silly firbolg. Caduceus sighed and got up from his bed opening the door to find Fjord carrying a sleeping Beauregard to her room. The half-orc looked at him with big eyes, a flash of fear with the sudden noise that disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

"She was sleeping outside my door, the complete fool."

"She cares for you very much, all of them do." Caduceus smiled at this, she was so afraid of losing them. They were all afraid of losing each other "Like an annoying little sister, and I know very well about those." He moved to open the door of Beau's room for him and make his tak a little easier.

"We're all more like a family than a group of friends at this point." Fjord put the monk to her bed, covering her with the sheet "Difficulty to go back to sleep?"

"Yeah…"

"Want to talk instead?"

"It's better than staring at the roof thinking about too much things at once."

Fjord made a face, expressing that he was feeling the same way, and gave a nod towards the deck. They made their way there quietly and stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of the rain on their faces. It was Fjord that broke the silence.

"Thank you, for bringing me back."

"I was afraid she wouldn't let me."

"What?"

"It was so selfish of me to ask her to share you. I was the one that presented you to her and I was asking you back." Caduceus looked away from Fjord and to the vast ocean around them "All me life I never felt like I was asking too much, but this time? It felt like I was asking the world."

"Am I the world?" Fjord laughed, attempting to lighten up the mood a little.

"Maybe."

They fell back into a comfortable silence again, neither of them wanting to spill their secrets out but at the same time wanting the other to know how much they were appreciated. Fjord being the bolder of them, broke the silence again.

"Beau told me that you were a killing machine after I went down, casting necromancy spells? I thought you did not use death magic."

Caduceus sighed, looking at Fjord with the corner of his eyes before continuing to look at the ocean. He took his time to gather his words and Fjord just waited, not demanding anything but his company at that moment.

"Like you said, we're more of a family at this point. And I guess I owe Beau and Veth an apology, vengeance is way harder to resist when personal feelings are involved."

"You weren't like that at the oasis."

"Huh, I guess I wasn't."

"Cad, what do you mean by making you feel this way?" Caduceus made a surprised noise at the back of his throat, almost choking on his own saliva, and turned his whole body to look at Fjord "I heard you…" He added with a small smile.

"I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that."

"And yet you spoke those words to me."

_ Well, shit. _

He wasn't supposed to find out like that. He wasn't supposed to find out at all. This was a secret Caduceus was ready to take to his grave, something only for him to pine for. And now it reached the last person he wanted to know. Fjord is still looking at him so Caduceus looked away, trying not to blush or do anything more embarrassing. Now Fjord is looking for an answer, for something to help him connect his thoughts. Caduceus isn't sure he'll be able to do it.

"I know. I was afraid you wouldn't come back and the more secrets I could give away to get you back the better." He looked so deep into the ocean during this conversation that he has it engraved on his mind "I understand even better now what Essek meant by 'You weren't part of the plan', you know?"

"And what was your plan?"

"The original one? Save home and then come back. In the middle of the journey it became save home, help my friends to achieve their goals and then come back. Now? My home is saved, my family is back there. I still need to help you all with your goals."

"Is there more?"

"Never leave your side has been a part that I would never think of having on the plan at the beginning."

It feels good letting some of the secrets out. Caduceus is so used to just bottle up everything that he didn't know letting out would be that pleasurable.

"Well, you weren't part of my plan either, Cad." His voice was so soft, a whisper that almost got lost in the wind, a whisper that shut all Caduceus' thoughts down "Neither of them were too, but you? The Wildmother? I could never have predicted it. And I never thought I would begin to fall in love, but here I am."

Caduceus risked looking at Fjord just r

to find him looking at the ocean and smiling softly.

"You know, me and Beau talked about this and she was sure I was in love with Jester. And I get it, it's Jester, I had a crush on her at some point-"

"I'm sure we all did."

"Right?! But she doesn't feel like home. You do. To an extension, all of the Mighty Nein kinda feels like home because they're family. But not like you do. I could be anywhere, I could be in hell, but if you were there too that place would be home." Fjord turned to him, a soft expression on his eyes, taking Caduceus hands on his "Don't make me feel like this just to not let me share it with-"

Many people will tell you that Caduceus is one of the most patient and less impulsive of all the Mighty Nein and that's mostly true. But he'll have his moments of impulsiveness and impatience. Like right now, not even waiting for Fjord to finish his sentence and just leaning down and placing his lips on his.

Fjord smiled when they parted, a big and bright smile that mirrored Caduceus'.

_ Feels like coming home. _

**Author's Note:**

> me: i'm not gonna write fanfic for critical role  
> also me: has 2 fics at the draft and this finished one
> 
> ha ha i have played myself by falling in love with these group of assholes.
> 
> thank you Gabriela for convincing me to post this my insegurities hate it.
> 
> thank you for reading 💕


End file.
